its been a long time

It's been some time since I've wanted to sit down and blog...I do occasionally but at times I feel like these blogs can comsume your entire life if you let them.. Its the last day of March....Winter has come and gone with a few straggling days of cold mornings and having to crank up a wood stove again....Spring cleaning comes late because of wood stove dust and its signs of grey little thingys lying everywhere...wiping them off soon becomes days of repetition as long as that little black monster is getting wood to fuel it....looking for the warmer nights and days where it will be less dusty and be more like cleaning. Looking back..a lot of things have happened within the last year...deaths...births, marriages and alienations to some degree....most of these are family related and create a dark cloud that lingers with time.... Death..no matter how it happens..it is a sign of ones life ending and having the memories of those gone in your heart forever hoping if faith is there ..one day to be reunited again, Births....ahh...those tiny little bundles of joy ..knowing each day is the joy of watching them grow .then one day they are gone and youve watched them grow into their own being. marriages....the perfect union of two people that are so in love with each other that they want to share their new life for others to witness.....a new start..a new beginning... alienations....it happens in most families at some time or another...these people are the ones that conceal..cover up their own true identifies..are control freaks and have to be the attention getters..... I have witnessed...deaths ..births,,marriages,,and the worst alienations.,,, Watching and listening as others prepare to tear down your mental image of someone you thought was a true friend and wondering how they can turn into such a(( looks and actions are deceiving kind of person)),,,,only wanting to try to manipulate..control and gain access to any thing personal happening in your life so they can sabotage it any which way they can. I know an aunt that has nieces and nephews to which more then half do not want anything to do with her because she has repeatedly insulted them for being less fortunate in their lives then what she is....and the ones she tried to manipulate and control soon realized this was not the aunt that they thought she was....and wanted nothing more to do with her. Control freaks...now these people have become totally agressive in trying to manipulate and sway the younger people into someone they want them to be...((((sounding more like a jim jones charade)) trying not to give advice but more then less demanding how it should be...in which the younger generation has retaliated back and politely removed her from being anything less then the aunt that they mistakenly thought she was in their younger years.... I ,myself once..no three times was lured into the den and fell victim...Others say..was'nt once ..maybe twice bad enough without going in the third time....I wholeheartenedly thought it would be different til one day after a heavy day of fun posting back and forth I was the brunt of cruel ..degrading remarks which was aimed at a post with various comments that the group was all makin....My one comment fueled the button for her to say my sense of humor was despicable and the addition of more uncalled for words were throwed out only to be shown then removed later so she could portray being a prey and not the hunter she was.....It was only meant as humor which was always thrown back and forth between these chat rooms until I noticed it was fine if I was on the receiving end getting them as long as I was'nt giving them...Needless to say...A leopard doesnt change its spots and I'm to the point where I'd rather be ""better safe then sorry'' as far as having someone ready to (pounce) and lurkng waiting to take control again.......so hit the remove button.....I had to have some friends removed too..since some fell victim to the same abuser and for the time being wont know it until they disagree or make an accidental remark that is taken the wrong way. She has with her twisted words managed to elude the fact that she is the one with the Charley Sheen attitude......enough said,,, .I"m done.